who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
