is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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