Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
