I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
