Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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