You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my liver is dry heaving
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
