Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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