Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
