i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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