i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
