Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
