Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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