i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
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I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
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The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
me + whiskey = a bad person
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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