They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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