Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
