$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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