It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
