We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We're too hungover to prance.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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