Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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