i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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