yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
