we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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