I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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