Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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