the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
