I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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