Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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