This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that š I went with "no"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dogās dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a āwater bottleā. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
