Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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