i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
