It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
