This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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