I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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