By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
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she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
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I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize