I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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