I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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