So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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