You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
