no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
