I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
