Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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