i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
