i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize