does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
