...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
