i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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