I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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