So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
