there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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