I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
