Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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