I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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