Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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