Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
