Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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