I wannas sexs uuuuu
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
