am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
