i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
