So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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