All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
