it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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