he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize