I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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